A Tired Mama Kind of Year

Seven more days... That's one week.  Well, really one more school week and two days.  Then, we'll officially have a rising fourth grader, first grader, and very busy preschooler in our little home school.  It's been a good year, a long year, and a tired-mama kind of year.  

We have yet to receive Chloe's test results (for school), but I'm slowly learning that we are not homeschooling just for the academics.  Developing a love for learning, a love for each other, and a passion for God are the greatest desires we have for our girls. This is my biggest challenge.  Lesson plans get tedious, the constant questions from three very different minds can cause the gray to appear, but to hear my struggling kindergartener read and say she loves to read makes it worth it all!  

I am tired.  Honestly, I'm ready to wrap up the books and call it a year.  I am ready for a break.  But we have to finish... and finish well!  Our pool is open and the parks are calling to us, but who says we can't take our books to the park or swim after the lessons are completed.  Another school year is almost finished by God's grace!  I do not have the patience of Job (ask my girls) and my momentum wains quickly (ask my husband).  So once again, it is truly and only God's grace and His strength that has gotten us through another year of homeschooling.  

May your week have moments of bare feet and the thrill of throwing rocks in a pond just because you can.  May you choose what you'll regret the least.  May you do less to accomplish more. May you finish well to the end.

To go or not to go...

When addition and subtraction get all mixed up...

When the clothes too small sit in the hallway for a week, collecting dust before finding their way to their labeled bins in the basement...

When the coffee wears off before 10:30 am...

When little miss tutu wants to play 101 questions...

When you face a choice of whether to go or not to go...

Life has a way of flipping upside down, all around, leaving you wondering what's coming next.  I feel as though I'm playing a game of hopscotch, unable to jump on the right numbers, my balance going topsy-turvy.  The past two weeks have been that for me.  Lack of sleep, testing/proctoring, and three nights of ballet/tap left me worn and weary.  Our school year is coming to an end (3 more weeks!!) and how I long to finish well.  

Amid the crazy schedule, I was faced with a big decision for this summer.  To go or not to go... My youth-pastor-husband takes students on mission trips almost every summer.  The last mission trip I went on was five years ago... to Canada... in a van...  I had really felt the Lord leading me to go with him to Ecuador this summer if a spot opened.  Needless to say, that happened.  Within one week, my parents and sister agreed to take care of our precious girls while we are away, my passport was sent off to be renewed, the money was covered for the trip, and I was able to think about going without crying my eyes out.  I am honestly not sure what God has in store for this trip, but I am earnestly praying that it will be amazing.  Not in the sight-seeing or even in what we as a team accomplish, but in what He is going to do!  May lives be changed for eternity!  May my life be changed...

"Good intentions don't lead to a life well-lived; a life well-lived is accomplished when we walk each day in faith, keeping our eyes on Jesus and our hearts inclined to His Word." - Sarah Mae

May your weekend be sweet and full of memories. May you be open to go wherever He leads you whether it's down the street or around the world.

Canada - 2008

Choosing joy...

When words simply don't come and the Word is the only thing worth clinging to, it is enough.  When tears want to fall, there is still a choice to believe He is good.  "God is always good and I am always loved and eucharisteo has made me my truest self, full of grace...  One hundred times a day, everywhere we turn, everything we touch, everyone we see.  The blessings can whispered.  No one even need hear.  No one but the Holy One." - Ann Voskamp

May we choose joy...

...that can be found in even the littlest things, like homemade sprinklers.

Desperate, yet Intentional...

I don't think I ever realized how hard parenting would really be.  No one told me that I would listen to a three year old's rendition of "Hear I am to Worship" 18 times within the span of a single car ride.  No one told me that bath time could seriously be the most exhausting part of my day.  No one told me how the heart strings could tug hard while watching your little ones grow up before your eyes.

"Our shoulders often falter under a constant weight of performance and duty.  We get caught up in the hectic cycle of endless tasks and often end up finding our lives to be a barren wasteland of burdens.  We ask half-heartedly for a sip of His grace, never fully expecting Him to listen and answer." - Sally Clarkson

I have finally finished my latest read, Desperate, by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson and the last chapter, Desperate... not Defeated, was dark chocolate to my soul.  So many thoughts swirling around in my head, yet not always able to put them into words.  I so desperately want to be intentional in my life, especially in mothering, but on a day to day basis, I fail.  Being intentional is exhausting!  But the more I've thought and prayed about it, I've realized that it can wear you thin because it is sacrificial.  It is a choice though.  

"The call to train up a child is more than a one-time choice; it is a day-to-day, long-term commitment to shape your children, the greatest gift that God has given you stewardship over." - Sally Clarkson

So on the days when they ask for another tea party, just break out the mac-n-cheese and make a meal of it. When you are just too tired to keep on moving, sit on the front steps and watch them ride their bikes one more time.  When you're in a hurry and breakfast is already running late, you'll never regret letting the littlest stir the eggs and the oldest grate cheese.  How I need to stop being in a hurry...

"Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me.  I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry.  But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing...  Through all the haste I thought I was making up time.  It turns out I was throwing it away." - Mark Buchanan

More on "being intentional" to come as I have so much learn...

Breakin' into Spring

Spring (and some may say "summer") has finally arrived in North Carolina! We put off our "spring break" one week (aka. mommy is about to pull her hair out and feels like she's pulling teeth at the time kind of break).  We were blessed with a beautiful spring-like week to enjoy the outdoors and all the field trips we had planned.  May your spring be full of such sweet moments as well...  

May your springtime days be full of tea parties & carousel rides...

May you have picnics & flip-flips frolics in the park... 

May you not be afraid to walk on the wild side...

May you be reminded daily of the joys of family, 

that each day is a gift...

May you find joy in the little things, 

in every aspect of God's creation...

When the mundane moments fall at your feet, may you choose to be grateful and see each moment afresh as possibly the last of its kind.  

"Do not disdain the small.  The whole of life - even the hard - is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole.  There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things.  It is this:  to give thanks in this one small thing." 
- Ann Voskamp

The Day that Doesn't End...

It's almost been a week since Resurrection Sunday, the day we remember what our Savior did and the reason for our hope in living on this earth.  How I want to be constantly mindful of His sacrifice, yet how often the mundane, trivial things of life block my view instead.  This has been one of those weeks... 

Battling a sickness that swept through our children, leaving us sleep-deprived and fearful of catching it ourselves, this week has left us weary.  But I'm finding that during those times, when I'm knocked off my feet and helpless in my own strength, the blessings become more evident.  Easter Sunday was a whirl wind of dressing in our Easter best, worshiping with fellow believers, baskets full of goodies, traveling to family, pictures, hunts, and a birthday party to boot!  Monday morning woke us up exhausted!  Yet it was such a blessing at times (because of our sickness), to be forced to rest, to be allowed the time to remember, to be able to continue to mull through the day of His resurrection that doesn't end that Easter Sunday so long ago.

After a really discouraging Thursday, I was listening to Pandora while fixing supper, and Laura Story's song, Remember, began to play.  How I needed those words in that moment!  Let me continue to remember what He has done and let the truth of that day never end...

This is the body that was torn for us
This is the blood that was spilt
Points to the pain you endured for us
Points to the shame, the blame, the guilt

Father, Son and Holy Spirit, come
Move our hearts to remember

This is the Lamb who was slain for us
So we the church may enter in
So bitter sweet when we think of You
The One who bore our curse, our sin

Father, Son and Holy Spirit, come
Move our hearts to remember, to remember

Father, Son and Holy Spirit, come
Father, Son and Holy Spirit, come
Move our hearts to remember

So many blessings!!